So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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