I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize