He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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