you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize