It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize