I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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