Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize