weddingsv make me drug and hornr
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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