I'm going to jail i love you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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