My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize