Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Whiskey dick.

(810): View more from Michigan

Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.

(417): View more from Missouri

Everyday of my life.

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(417): Whiskey dick. (810): Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it. (417): Everyday of my life. http://tfl.nu/axyq

Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (920)
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(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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(619): I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people. http://tfl.nu/8ypc

Replies (2) Good night (1084) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

(310): View more from California

Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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(310): Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them. (310): Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light. http://tfl.nu/t4oe

Replies (12) Good night (3058) Bad night (454)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.

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(770): I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges. http://tfl.nu/kn7k

Replies (51) Good night (1030) Bad night (4519) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive

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(781): Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive http://tfl.nu/cgnf

Replies (13) Good night (2210) Bad night (3673) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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(760): You did not just play the dead husband card again. http://tfl.nu/xl50

Replies (20) Good night (1016) Bad night (5302) Order T-Shirt
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(256): View more from Alabama

My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.

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(256): My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred. http://tfl.nu/j0t5

Replies (18) Good night (3834) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.

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(203): They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care. http://tfl.nu/9gbe

Replies (6) Good night (2052) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car

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(586): somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car http://tfl.nu/ci3e

Replies (6) Good night (776) Bad night (2011) Order T-Shirt
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.

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(828): I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w8gt

Replies (5) Good night (1571) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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(360): Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys... http://tfl.nu/6y99

Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.

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(402): Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling. http://tfl.nu/cu5s

Replies (16) Good night (306) Bad night (1771) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.

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(813): And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him. http://tfl.nu/ppzx

Replies (8) Good night (439) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!

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(541): Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE! http://tfl.nu/iu61

Replies (5) Good night (669) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later

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(215): shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later http://tfl.nu/zlh0

Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt

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