I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize