peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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