do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize