if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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