your thong is hanging out like whoa
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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