also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize