Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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