she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize