NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize