sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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