I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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