So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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