yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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