There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize