just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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