She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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