paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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