At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize