Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?

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  (406): she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again? http://tfl.nu/5xp9
  Replies (19) Good night (3104) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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  (806): How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her? http://tfl.nu/a3s8
  Replies (78) Good night (518) Bad night (7499) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3787) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet

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  (480): My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/85uj
  Replies (15) Good night (1939) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"

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  (386): he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor" http://tfl.nu/h9m9
  Replies (26) Good night (1148) Bad night (5305) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."

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  (630): And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs." http://tfl.nu/aazi
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (3562) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.

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  (603): You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing. http://tfl.nu/vk7w
  Replies (6) Good night (4310) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight

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  (615): I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight http://tfl.nu/tvrj
  Replies (30) Good night (6559) Bad night (1582)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.

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  (705): Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night. http://tfl.nu/58lp
  Replies (18) Good night (929) Bad night (3904) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4334) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.

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  (610): Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour. http://tfl.nu/a91n
  Replies (6) Good night (1408) Bad night (1091) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.

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  (503): He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive. http://tfl.nu/kzk0
  Replies (10) Good night (474) Bad night (2215) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

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  (843): woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed. http://tfl.nu/bkzs
  Replies (8) Good night (940) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake

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  (314): We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake http://tfl.nu/bbs3
  Replies (6) Good night (653) Bad night (317)
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  (760): View more from California

  Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.

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  (760): Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back. http://tfl.nu/zq1q
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt

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