I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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