why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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