I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to sanitize my soul.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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