He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize