You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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