If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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