Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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