His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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