he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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