I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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