Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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