Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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