Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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