Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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