anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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