it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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