We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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