He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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