Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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