I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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